I am a doer. I like to make lists and I like even more when I can tick things off said lists. I have a hard time relaxing, (see my earlier post on Letting Myself Off the Hook) and I don’t like to do things by halves.
At the start of 2013 I decided that my Big Goal for the year was to finish my novel. But I also made ten other Smaller Goals I wanted to achieve at the same time. Like losing a few kilos. Or pitching three magazine articles a week. Eating better. Walking more. Cleaning out my wardrobe. Getting serious about yoga.
And because of my aversion to halves-of-things, even if I achieved my writing goal for the day, I’d worry about all the other things I’d let slide as a result. It was a punishing cycle, and my novel writing suffered because of it.
One evening, after I mentally berated myself for cancelling a gym date with a girlfriend because after my five a.m. writing alarm I had barely enough energy to lift a cup of tea, let alone a barbell, I decided that enough was enough.
I was going to start doing things by halves. And I was going to like it.
So what if I ate peanut butter toast for dinner two nights in a row? And who said I had to attend yoga classes three times a week, or not at all?
Writing a novel is hard! And, though I know that there are people who manage to do it while also juggling full time jobs and family responsibilities and can still show up at the gym (and kudos to them), that just ain’t me.
This year, I’m writing a novel. Full stop. And I’m not doing that by half.